


melancholia

by CrimsonFandomTrash



Category: Original Work
Genre: Depression, Gen, Other, Poetry, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2021-01-25 17:04:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21359656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrimsonFandomTrash/pseuds/CrimsonFandomTrash
Summary: melancholia[mel-uh n-koh-lee-uh]n.A mental disorder characterized by depression, apathy, and withdrawal.
Kudos: 2





	melancholia

the problems i face, i cannot see,

i cannot fight, i cannot flee,

it's torture every single day,

because my grief seems here to stay

i try my best, i swear, i do,

but no one seems to think that true,

i'll sit and wait, and hope for aid,

but my support will almost always fade

and now, i'm facing this on my own,

not even welcome in my only home,

i long to leave, so badly wish i could,

and if i had somewhere to go, i would

i've been fighting these feelings for so long now,

if you asked me, i wouldn't be able to tell you how,

i just keep forcing myself forward, feet dragging,

low mood, mind lagging

and no one notices how hard that is for me,

they look away, because my problems are unseen,

i could cry for help forever, beg, and plead, and wail,

but i can assure you, it'll be to no avail

so i keep trudging forward, never knowing why,

everything's so much that i just want to die,

but i'm scared because i don't know what's on the other side,

so until courage takes over me, i'm forced to just abide

to lose sleepless nights over my existential fear,

who am i, what will happen, why am i here?

to deal with the dread of being hopelessly lost,

wondering all the while if death would be worth the cost

i hate hating myself, i hate hating my life,

but it gives me no choice, in light of all this strife,

i'm drowning in it now, can barely gasp for air,

i want help, but no one really cares

the ones who do care are out of my reach,

the ones who truly love me, and don't call me a leech,

they can't help me from so, so far away,

and so, at rock bottom, i am forced to stay

i've been trapped so long now, a prisoner of my own head,

seems the only escape is to shoot myself dead,

to make things worse, things were especially rough this year,

making me wish even more that i weren't here

**Author's Note:**

> So, I don't usually write poetry, but here's this. I hope it's at least half as decent as I think it is... 😅


End file.
